It’s no secret that in order to move forward we must change the habits or practices that hold us back. We chat to Amanda Mortimer, author of new book This is it! It’s your life. Live it (RRP $34.99), about how you can engage the mind, create new rituals and wave limiting beliefs goodbye.
You are an accredited Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) coach. Can you explain what NLP is for our readers?
NLP is a deep understanding of how the brain works, 95% of our daily behaviour happens automatically and in most cases that behaviour does not deliver good results. Yet we can’t change this easily on our own. Imagine an app that’s running behind the scenes but that app is no longer working for you, then you would just delete it and install a new app, NLP does just that, delete what’s not working and install programming that does work, creating better results in life, for life.
Your new book, This is it! It’s your life. Live it. provides guidance for people to create long-term changes to their behaviours or patterns. How can people create permanent changes in their lives?
Peoples thoughts create certain behaviours, this in turn creates their reality. If that person doesn’t like their life, then new thoughts need to be installed and old habitual thoughts deleted. Using NLP, we can help people do just that, easily and quickly, creating new behaviour and permanent change. It’s permanent because NLP works with the unconscious mind which is where all our habits and learnings are stored. We also know that around 95% of our daily behaviour runs automatically from our unconscious mind, so any change there runs automatically and permanently.
You talk about needing to engage the conscious mind. What do you mean by this and how can we achieve this?
I think this question might mean unconscious mind as opposed to conscious, however a good NLP coach will always work to distract the conscious mind in order to re programme the unconscious mind which is were all habitual behaviour and learnings are stored.
How can we create new habits, and how can we stick to them?
Creating new habits happens at an unconscious level, using NLP techniques we can install new habits easily. Once they are installed they run automatically. New ways of thinking and what a person believes about themselves also drives habits. If we change the thoughts to be more positive and belief structures to be more empowering the habits will emulate this.
What are limiting beliefs and how can we transform these?
A limiting belief is no different to an empowering belief in terms of how it is stored and how it runs in our neurology. The main difference is the outcomes both create, interestingly most limiting beliefs are not at all logical, they make no sense and often will seem totally silly to anyone close to the client who is running the limiting belief. For example, I had a client who believed they were stupid, yet she was a medical doctor working in a top London hospital, when I asked her how she had managed to graduate and land this dream job, she told me it was because of her looks, it seems crazy to us. However, it will feel very real and true for the client, in turn their behaviour will reflect the limiting belief, making it real. She told me it was only a matter of time until they realised she was stupid.
The client will delete anything that doesn’t back into the limiting belief, so a limiting belief about not be worthy results in the client not being able to take a compliment, thinking that people are just being ‘nice.’ Another tell tale sign is a client who believes they are not good enough, they will try their best to please others at their own cost, being a people pleaser allows them to temporarily feel good enough by others validation. This though is short loved, deleting this limiting belief and installing a new empowering one will change their life dramatically, instantly for the better. I work so much with clients who are living a life that is sabotaged by limiting beliefs, once we have finished our work together, generally 3 sessions their life and beliefs about what they can achieve are totally changed and empowered. My sadness comes when a client has wait until they are in their 60’s to make this change, such a waste of life, living from a limiting belief system.
In order to succeed, we need to make dynamic, powerful choices. How can we do this?
I would always start by looking at what it is you believe about yourself, check in a see if any beliefs are not serving you and know that any choices you make whilst operating from a limit will limit you. You need to make different choices to get a different result, so if you don’t like what is showing up in your life now then make different choices. This is easier said than done but knowing what is holding you back and what needs deleting can be a great start, then know that once you get the programme clean and positive then your choices will naturally reflect this, taking you to a more positive and empowered place in life.
What do you recommend for someone struggling to stick to their goals/choices?
I would ask them do you really want this goal for you or is this for someone else? Most woman are used to putting themselves on hold and doing things for others, nurturing, empowering others whilst we silently allow our real goals to go by the wayside. Goals that are not wholeheartedly theirs are harder to attain, so check first are they for you?
Then really climb inside what life will be like once you have this goal, what will it look like when you have that goal, live in that movie for a while and hang out in it each day. What we imagine feels real on the body, this is how a client can become anxious if they have fear of flying for example, they are just imagining flying and instantly their body reacts as though it were real. Imagine your goal as you want it, make it bright, big, colourful and add your soundtrack too.
Then make steps every day to attain your goal, small doable steps. People can fall into the trap of thinking they are taking action but really they are just procrastinating. So if a clients goal is to run a marathon, they may decide to buy the latest running watch and get caught up in the research and choosing the exact right watch. This is procrastination disused as perfectionism, nothing has happened yet and all that really needs to happen is to run, so get out and run.
What are some small ways we can feel better every day?
The quality of your life is the quality of your thoughts. I like to advise clients to say three things they are grateful for each day when they wake up, this starts your day off positively and thinking about the simple things that make us happy. Take time for you too, even if it is just 10 minutes in nature or meditating reading a book or taking a walk. Check in with you and enjoy spending time with you, learn to love who you are, be yourself fully as everyone else it taken.
What are your top tips for quick success and happiness?
Do more of what makes you happy and less of what doesn’t. Surround yourself with people who give you bolts of joy and avoid time with those who drain your reserves. Live life on your terms, with your rules and your needs being met, if you learn to love you and be you fully then the best you shows up every time and everyone wins. If you are truely happy with you then when a curve ball hits you then the best you is there to handle it. I have had four large curve balls in the last four years and without knowing me, all of me then I would have second guessed myself, procrastinated, and floundered, instead I learnt, grew and moved on.
