7 jobs you will probably never want (even during a recession)

By Nikki Dorrell

7 jobs you will probably never want (even during a recession)
If you are moping around the office today, whinging about your job, spare a thought for these people.

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1. Armpit Sniffer

This probably isn’t the official title, however, it does pretty much sum up the job description. For some brave person out there, their job is to actually sniff stranger’s underarms to test whether or not a deodorant actually works and the only way to do so is by taking a great, big whiff!

All I can say is ‘phew’ that’s not me.

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2. Crime-scene cleaner

Don’t be fooled into thinking that this job is exciting. A crime-scene cleaner’s job isn’t to find out the details of how the scene actually came to be. To put simply, they have to clean up the mess. They are the guys or girls that come in at the end and make it seem as though nothing ever happened. Hot days are obviously particularly bad when you’re in this field.

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3. Brazilian Mosquito Researcher

There really is no other way to study the biting habits of a mosquito that spreads Malaria, other than to be bitten. So for the unlucky person who holds this position, they actually employ methods to make themselves more attractive to the mosquito in the hopes of it taking a bite. An obvious hazard of this job is contracting Malaria, which has actually happened.

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4) Portable toilet cleaner

Many refuse to use these toilets, choosing to walk around crossed-legged or simply leaving the festival they have waited months for, just to use the loo back home. However, if you have ever visited a portable toilet, you will be pleasantly surprised that they are actually quite clean (if visited before the festival begins). This is all thanks to someone who makes a living from cleaning these babies up! Don’t forget, being portable, there is nowhere for the waste to go, so sucking all the waste up with a vacuum wand, is all a part of the job. Hopefully the cubicle doesn’t tip over too often.

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5. Pet food taster

Pets have become valued family members and nobody wants to give their furbaby unpalatable food. In order to make sure Fido, Dido and little Rex are getting some tasty and nutritious tucker, someone needs to try the pet food! This seems rather strange seeings as label warnings are plastered all over pet food packaging reading ‘Not for human consumption’. Although, don’t be too concerned, pet food tasters admit to not swallowing.

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6. Guard at Buckingham Palace

Hours standing still in utter silence, and many more hours spent cleaning and pressing uniforms and polishing shoes, all ready for countless inspections, lands guard duty on the worst jobs list. Yawn.

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7. Breath Sniffer

Similar to the Armpit Sniffer, although this person tackles another source of stench. A  halitosis judge is generally found in the labs of mouthwash companies, literally smelling strangers’ breath to attain if a mouthwash is doing its job. I think this one takes the cake: GROSS

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