Stress, anxiety, burnout, disconnection. They’re no longer just buzzwords; they’re the daily reality for millions around the world. In fact, depression is now the leading cause of disability globally, and more than 1 in 8 people are currently living with a mental health disorder. So what’s really going on?
It’s tempting to think the problem lies with us – that we’re not strong enough, not productive enough, not resilient enough. But what if the truth is deeper than that? What if the real issue isn’t that we’re not ok in some way… but that the world we live in has become increasingly out of alignment with what human beings need to thrive? Here’s what the research – and our own inner knowing – is pointing to.
1. We’re living in a world that keeps us wired but tired
Between constant notifications, doomscrolling, and the 24/7 performance of social media, our nervous systems are in overdrive. In one recent survey, 75% of Gen Z reported that their mental health was negatively impacted by social media use at night, with many checking their phones during face-to-face conversations after just two minutes. We’ve never been more connected digitally – and never more distracted, overstimulated and lonely.
Loneliness isn’t just a feeling – it’s now considered a public health issue. In fact, the U.S. Surgeon General recently declared social disconnection a national epidemic, with about 50% of American adults reporting measurable loneliness. We humans evolved to thrive in tight-knit tribes and communities. What we have now – isolated nuclear households, remote work, swipe-right relationships – isn’t cutting it.
2. Our culture is selling us a story that’s making us sick
The world we live in rewards busyness, achievement, status and material success—but at what cost? Psychologist Tim Kasser spent decades studying what actually brings people happiness. His findings? When we chase materialism, status and individualistic success, our wellbeing suffers. People who prioritise external rewards like money, fame and image report higher levels of anxiety, depression and dissatisfaction.
Meanwhile, the things that actually make us feel fulfilled – meaningful relationships, community, purpose, generosity – are often sidelined or dismissed as “soft”. Gabor Maté, in his book The Myth of Normal, describes our current culture as “toxic” – not because we’re weak, but because we’ve normalised disconnection. Disconnection from nature. From our bodies. From each other. From what really matters.
3. We’re out of sync with what truly makes us happy and resilient
If you think success or a beach holiday will finally make you happy, science says: maybe not.
Researcher Matt Killingsworth discovered that our happiness doesn’t hinge on what we’re doing – it depends on whether we’re present while doing it. In his research he found that most people’s minds were wandering nearly 47% of the time – and when they were, they were significantly less happy. In other words, being more mindful makes us happy. Similarly, studies show that people who prioritise intrinsic goals – like living according to their values, personal growth, close relationships, and being altruistic—enjoy greater wellbeing than those chasing status or wealth. Living in alignment with your values and being mindful doesn’t just feel good – it also boosts your resilience.
So how do we avoid falling prey to the downward spiral? If the world is overwhelming, uncertain and often disconnected… what can we do? Here are three small but powerful shifts to help you reconnect with what really matters:
1. Be here now
The good news. Research shows that happiness is found, not through achievement or escape. It’s found in presence. Try this: Start a simple mindfulness practice. Even 60 seconds of mindful attention can shift your state. Presence doesn’t cost a thing – but it can change everything.
2. Reconnect with your core values
Forget the algorithm. What matters to you? Studies show that people who live in alignment with their values are not only happier, but also more mentally strong and emotionally balanced. Values are your heart’s deepest desires for how you want to behave as a human being. Examples of values are things like kindness, compassion, loyalty, honesty, family, adventure, playfulness and so on. Take a moment to name your top five values – then ask, “What’s one small way I can take actions guided by these values today?”
3. Prioritise real connection
The antidote to disconnection isn’t more scrolling – it’s more soul. Spend more quality time with friends. Start a book club. Join a local group. Volunteer. Or simply ask your partner one deeper question over dinner tonight. Genuine human connection is one of the most powerful protective factors for mental health – and it’s something we can all foster, no matter how busy life gets.
You don’t need to hustle your way to happiness or fix yourself to be “enough”. The truth is, we’re living in a culture that often pulls us away from the very things that make us well – presence, connection and purpose. So if you want to stay sane, wise and strong in an increasingly noisy and chaotic world, you’ll have to go against the grain. That means slowing down in a world that’s always speeding up. Being present when everyone else is distracted. Living by your values instead of chasing validation.
When we choose to step out of the current and return to our own inner wisdom, we start moving toward a more fulfilling and meaningful life. No matter how uncertain or unwise the world outside becomes, we can stay rooted in our own inner steadiness and strength – and that changes everything
Melli O’Brien is a mindfulness and resilience educator and best-selling author of ‘Deep Resilience: A Four-Step Journey to Unshakable Inner Strength’. Learn more at www.melliobrien.com.
