However, behind the laughter lies a journey of resilience, with the revelation of a life-changing bowel cancer diagnosis. Henwood’s experience sparked a journey of self-discovery and profound shift in perspective, which he recounts in his recent book, The Life of Dai.
At first, the idea of writing a memoir was daunting. “It was equal parts confronting and cathartic … I am used to crafting my words in my head and letting my mouth do the rest.” With the book becoming a collaborative project between himself and Jaquie Brown – who interviewed Henwood when he went public with his diagnosis in January 2023 – he became excited by the idea of sharing his story. “We did many hours of interviews and she put the book together. Then I spent a long time editing and tweaking. I had absolute faith in her to tell my story.”
Ever since he was five years old, Henwood knew he wanted to make people laugh. “I put a lot of work into turning what I did at parties into something I could make a living off. NZ comedy was a bit of a no-go when I was coming through and there was just a hardcore group doing it. Hardly any money but you did it for the laughs.” Cancer, he says, has been the teacher that he never wanted, but needed. “It has made me get in touch with my spiritual side more. I am allergic to organised religion but I have a deep connection to the universe and collected consciousness. Having a stage 4 cancer diagnosis has made me let go and surrender, which has put me in a calmer place. I have also realised although treatment is tough and surgeries are hard I can choose not to suffer. I’ve been through more challenges in the last four years than my whole life combined and am very proud of how I have faced them.”
One of the hardest things he faced was the decision to go public with his diagnosis, something he was very nervous about. “I had been private (outside of my friends and family) for almost three years. I had been doing stand-up comedy and TV during that time and to be honest I wasn’t really enjoying it. This was because I am a very authentic person and I wasn’t being honest about something I was living with 24/7,” he says.
Within 48 hours of sharing his news, Henwood received thousands of messages of support. “This boosted me up no end. I felt so supported and it gave me so much strength. It was also a positive in that when I was out at a café and I was feeling rubbish from chemo or some other procedure I could just say so. It gave me a new-found love of humanity.”
Henwood also felt protective over his children, and worried how people would talk to them about it.
“Even when people are well-meaning they often say the wrong thing or something that could be triggering. Everyone has been so respectful. I love the people of this country and want to thank them for the love and respect they have shown me.”
The diagnosis has made him much more aware of how he spends his time. “I am better at saying ‘no’ to things I don’t really want to do and I value my family and friends more than ever. I have learnt how important human connection is and I wouldn’t be in such a good spot after four years without the support of family and friends,” he says.
“My amazing wife and children are there for me on a daily and hourly basis but I have a WhatsApp group with about 30 mates in there who mourn the losses and celebrate the wins with me.”
When working on The Life of Dai, Henwood wanted to make sure the book not only reflected his cancer journey, but included tools for living positively through adversity. “This is my chance to put something lasting into the world that could impact people’s lives as well as putting a smile on reader’s faces,” he says.
Photograph: Cat Lundin.
