Nicole Kidman says she regularly wakes up crying in the middle of the night and admits she’s “more open to emotions” now she’s in her 50s as she’s raising children and dealing with the pain of losing both her parents as well as pouring her feelings into her acting roles.
In an interview for British GQ, Kidman says, “Mortality. Connection. Life coming and hitting you. And loss of parents and raising children and marriage and all of the things that go into making you a fully sentient human.”
She added: “There’s the mortality aspect of life which, when you start to deal with that, it’s very heavy. When you’re raising children you’re like, I gotta stay here. I wanna see all of this. It’s devastating and beautiful and extraordinary.”
Everyone grieves in their own way and there are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ ways to grieve. Some people are open and expressive with their grief, crying or wanting to talk, whilst others may be reluctant to talk and prefer to keep busy. Other factors, such as culture, gender and belief systems can also influence the ways that people grieve.
Kidman explained her daughters – Sunday, 16, and Faith, 14, with husband Keith Urban – were very young when her father died and they saw how upset their mum was and she felt she had to “push through” the grief for their sake and it actually helped her “get better”.
It is a common myth that people ‘get over’ grief. The reality is people will always grieve the loss of a loved one. With time, the pain will lessen, but the sorrow we feel will always be a part of us. When people grieve they are coming to terms with what has changed in their lives. There is no ‘return to normal’; rather, we have to learn to live around a new kind of normal.
During a recent interview on CBS News’ ‘Sunday Morning’, Kidman revealed how she had no idea that the last time she talked to her mother would be her final conversation with her. “The final words my mama said, which I didn’t know were gonna be the final words … I was going to get on a plane and go back to see her, and she was like, ‘Maybe wait a minute because I think you just need to take care of yourself right now, Nicky’.
“So I’m doing that more,” she went on. “And I say that to other people in the world, particularly women. I think we tend not to take care of ourselves. We take care of everybody else but the last person is here.”
Anyone who may be feeling distressed can contact the following organisations for support –
New Zealand:
Lifeline 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP)
Depression Helpline 0800 111 757 or text 4202
Youthline 0800 376 633
Australia:
SANE Helpline 1800 18 72 63
Lifeline 131 114
Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
