A heart that is drained and barely beatin,
Sits within my chest as all hope gets eaten,
How do you explain something is wrong when there’s no good reason?
Where did it all go wrong, am I such a heathen?
Trying to recall a genuine feeling, a smile that wasn’t forced, or these thoughts of hanging from a ceiling.
This demon I fight is my own self,
Abuse drugs to feel something is just damaging my health.
Happiness seems to be based around wealth.
Fuck that! I just want my mental health!
I can’t bring myself to ending it all,
But I can’t stand another day feeling so small.
I just want to scream, I want God to answer my call.
Why must I keep trying when it all just fails,
Let me onto a little ship and let me sail,
Far away so no-one has to care,
Who? What? When and where.
To my mother and father who never gave up,
I’m sorry This isn’t what you envisaged when I grew up,
A son each night, curled up in tears, I know it tears you apart,
I’m sorry I know this is breaking your heart,
But I can’t ever thank you enough,
I’m still here and I couldn’t put you through that,
I’m gonna try and try and that’s that.
Next morning comes round and it all starts again.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll smile again.
William Thomas Cooper