Through my experience coaching a wide range of diverse women around Australia, here are four things you might not have noticed are draining your self-esteem:
Hanging with the wrong tribe
Nothing drains your self-esteem quicker than poor company. It’s time to let go of overly-critical people whose conversation centres around other people and negative news. When it comes to your tribe, evaluate everyone carefully – relationships, unsupportive or judgmental parents/caregivers, other family members, school friends, ex-lovers or it could be the people you hang out with now. If they’re people from your past whom the memory of still cast a shadow over how you see yourself, then reach out to a professional and work through these limiting beliefs with a coach, counsellor or psychologist. If there are people in your current circle who fit this category, then it’s time to start mixing in different crowds. Instead of letting other people drain your self esteem, surround yourself with positive people who lift you up and share your love of life.
What are the things you say to yourself in your quiet moments? Start paying attention to these. Is your mental language about yourself full of praise and respect, or are you your own inner bully? Negative self-talk can harm your self-esteem and have a huge affect on the way you see and feel about yourself. To increase your energy and self-esteem, curb the self-criticism and be mindful of the things you say to yourself when no one else is around. Treat yourself as you would a dear friend, with encouragement and support. Celebrate your wins, compliment your efforts and be kind with your losses, congratulating yourself for giving it a go and recognising that every effort is brave and allows for future growth and development. And remember – you’re already awesome!
Nutrition, exercise, breathing and our physical health play a huge part in how we feel about ourselves. It’s no secret that the food we eat fuels our bodies to perform at our best. Choosing too much of the wrong foods such as sugary delights and caffeine to get us through the day can come back to haunt us in the afternoon when we hit a slump and our mood drops along with our energy. Feeling more energetic motivates us to move and include some exercise in our day which also helps us feel better about ourselves.
A pessimistic perspective
The reality is that life is 50% good stuff and 50% bad stuff. The human experience is not going to be smooth sailing all the way through. It is usually full of ups and downs, ebbs and flows, many of which may be out of our initial control. How you view and approach these changes and challenges can have an impact on how you feel about yourself and the world around you. If you’re always looking at things as a glass that is half empty, then your mindset is going to be negative. Try looking at the glass as half full and approach situations as lessons that will propel you forward. There’s so much opportunity out there for you to bring into your world and be happy. Pop those rose-coloured glasses on more and look to the future with positivity.