New research from the University at Buffalo suggests that non-traditional social strategies, which can include so-called “guilty pleasures,” are just as effective at making us feel connected as actual relationships.
The findings are particularly relevant during the COVID-19 pandemic as people struggle with direct social connections thanks to social distancing and other necessary precautions according to Shira Gabriel, a professor of psychology in UB’s College of Arts and Sciences and one of the paper’s co-authors.
“People can feel connected through all sorts of means,” says Elaine Paravati, a UB graduate and co-author of the paper. “We found that more traditional strategies, like spending time with a friend in person, doesn’t necessarily work better for people than non-traditional strategies, like listening to a favourite musician. In fact, using a combination of both of these types of strategies predicted the best outcomes, so it might be especially helpful to have a variety of things you do in your life to help you feel connected to others.”
“I don’t think people realise that these non-traditional connections are as beneficial as we found in our research,” says Gabriel, an expert in social psychology. “Don’t feel guilty, because we found that these strategies are fine as long as they work for you.”
Other non-traditional social strategies that can be of benefit include reading a good book, playing a game, enjoying comfort foods and binge watching a favourite television show. “We have evidence that as long as you feel like you’re fulfilling your belongingness needs, it doesn’t really matter how you’re doing it,” says Paravati.
“There’s a basic need for social connections, just as we have a basic need for food,” says Gabriel. “The longer you go without those sorts of connections, the lower the fuel tank, and that’s when people start to get anxious, nervous or depressed, because they lack needed resources.
“What’s important is not how you’re filling the social fuel tank, but that your social fuel tank is getting filled.”
