Accept feeling low when it happens. To expect to always be at a level of high confidence may cause you to feel worse when you are feeling low. Self-confidence starts with self-acceptance at all times. You are not alone, all of us experience low self-confidence at some point. Remember that you do the best you can in any given moment.
2. Increase awareness
Become aware of the situations or circumstances when you feel less confident. For women, this may coincide with certain times during your menstrual cycle, or it could occur with a certain group of people. Keeping a journal may help you to see patterns that can further your awareness about values or beliefs around your performances in particular situations. You may want to document the type of situations, frequency, thoughts you have at the time and so on, to help with this.
3. Banish negative
Avoid paying too much attention to your inner critical voice or believing in your negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is irrational and not built on realistic facts. It is almost impossible to eliminate this voice, so rather than trying to eliminate it accept that it doesn’t tell the truth about you. Work out a more realistic response to your negative voice. Realise that your negative voice does not reflect what other people think about you.
4. Collect positive evidence
Write a list of at least 10 things that you like about yourself. Also ask friends and family what they value in you. Use this list to counter negative thoughts.
5. Focus on gratitude
To focus on gratitude will help counter critical thoughts in regards to yourself and others. Kind thoughts about others have a positive ripple effect on ourselves. Focus on the good things that happen each day. You may be surprised at how many good things are actually happening in your life.
6. Become more assertive
Find out what is right for you rather than going with what is right for other people. Focus on finding your own answers or making your own meaning out of circumstances. Knowing your own stance is the first step towards being self-assertive. The next step is to challenge yourself to communicate this in a non-aggressive way. Assertive communication comes from the “I” perspective and the information you get from your senses, for example I see, I hear, I feel, I experience, I understand, I believe, I think.
7. Be physically fit and active
During exercise, your mind gets busy with concentrating on what you are doing in the now, blood circulation increases to the brain causing alertness, and feel-good neurotransmitters are released. Being fit gives strength to your body and mind that considerably impacts on your confidence.
8. Establish a good posture
A good posture contributes to feeling and appearing confident. Straighten your shoulders, raise your head and look people in the eyes; this will contribute to you feeling more confident.
9. Care for yourself
Self-care can range from how you dress, eat and sleep, and looking after yourself when sick or injured. How you groom yourself affects how you feel about yourself. Self-care shows up in appearance. To look your best, to be rested and well nourished is to tell the world, including yourself, that you matter.
10. Do something new
To learn new skills stimulates confidence. This may range from challenging yourself in situations that provoke your low self-confidence, or by taking up a new hobby or improving on work-related skills. To master something that seems challenging is fantastic for boosting self-confidence.