If you've ever experienced the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or an unexpected divorce, you will have a good idea of what Dr Russ Harris means when he talks about a ‘reality slap’.
Based on the scientifically proven, mindfulness-based approach called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), The Reality Slap promises to teach you "how to cope effectively when life hurts: not just how to survive, but how to thrive."
Australia's foremost provider of training in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dr Harris gained a popular following when he released the international bestseller, The Happiness Trap, which introduced mindfulness skills, and taught readers to rise above their fears, doubts and insecurities.
With The Reality Slap, Harris moves his focus away from general dissatisfaction and unhappiness with life, to focus more specifically on how we handle situations that slap us in the face.
“The reality slap hurts. We don't expect it, we don't like it, and we definitely don't want it,” Harris writes in his introduction to the self-help book. More importantly, however, Harris reinforces that the event that causes our rude awakening is only the beginning. “What comes next is much harder. For once the slap wakes us up, we then face the gap.”
Through his book, Harris provides tools and techniques to help us cross the ‘reality gap’: to move away from the life we have and towards the life we really want, all the while navigating painful feelings of envy, jealousy, disappointment, shock, grief and sadness, to name but a few.
As a medical practitioner and psychotherapist, Harris himself is no stranger to a dose of reality. But his experience does not come through treating patients. As Harris explains in the book, his own ‘slap’ came when, two years after the birth of his son, his “beautiful baby” was diagnosed with autism.
"My world crumbled,” Harris writes, recalling the diagnosis. “I have never felt such pain in all of my life.”
Harris uses this personal experience to introduce a strategy that will help you deal with your own reality gap. With four stages, the rest of the book is structured around each of the four steps: hold yourself kindly; drop the anchor; take a stand; and, finally, find the treasure.
The Reality Slap is littered with practical exercises and realistic examples that the reader can relate to. If you're in the midst of turbulent times, or if you simply want to gain a better handle on your own life, this book is worth a read.
