We’ve been talking about our brains and how the way we think can aid or hinder our sex lives. Now I’d like to look at our culture as a whole, and debunk some myths that we tend to take as fact.

One of the most prevalent and insidious myths is that men are more sexual than women. I’ve heard it so often, from clients and friends and even well-meaning professionals.

It’s simply not true.

Women have greater sexual potential than men. Not only that, a man can only reach his sexual potential by bringing the woman to hers.

The trouble is, not many women reach their potential, or even get close. Most women don’t even have any idea what their potential is. Men have even less idea, and even if they did, they’d have no idea how to get her there. (Not that it’s up to him to get her there, a women who’s tuned into her sexuality knows that it’s up to her to work with him to get herself there.)

You see, women are made for sex. Women's bodies are designed to generate the most extraordinary levels of pleasure - for her, and through her, for him.

Consider the clitoris. This delightful little organ has no purpose whatsoever other than to provide exquisite pleasure. And it has more nerve endings than the head of the penis.

(That reminds me of a joke where God’s putting the finishing touches to Adam and Eve. He calls them over and says:

 “Adam, Eve, you’re nearly done. I have just two more items left to give you, but only one of each, so you’ll have to choose. OK?”

They nod in agreement.

“Right then. The first is the ability to pee standing up.”

Adam shoots up his hand excitedly, and cries out:

 “Yes, yes, me, me, that sounds cool, I’ll have that one!”

 “Fine,” says God, “here you are Adam, you and your male descendents now have the ability to pee standing up. So Eve, you get the multiple orgasms.”)

Yep, unlike men, women can have multiple orgasms. In fact we can have a whole variety of orgasms – clitoral, g-spot, deep vaginal, and those are just the genital orgasms.

Women can also have orgasms from non-genital stimulation – nipples, neck, toes, just to mention a few other delicious body parts – and some women can even “think themselves off”, having an orgasm through thought alone.

Women can stay at a very high level of arousal for a very long time. We can enjoy that ride alone, or stud it with numerous orgasms, or have one long, long orgasm that lasts and lasts.

Unlike men, who tend to reach a certain level of arousal, have one orgasmic peak and then it’s all over. (It doesn’t have to be like that – but that’s another story.)

Masters and Johnson, the famous sex researchers, said: “Women have an infinitely greater capacity for sexual response than a man ever dreamed of.”

It would seem that God actually is female, or at least that S/He wants women to have lots of really extraordinary sex.

Now I don’t want to put pressure on you here by making you feel you now have to think yourself to multiple three hour orgasms! It’s just to let you know what’s possible.

To use one of my cooking analogies, if you thought bread and butter was all you were capable of cooking, that’s probably all you’d ever eat. If you knew that you could potentially create a five-course gourmet meal, you might never ever make it, but then again, you might – and chances are you wouldn’t limit yourself to bread and butter any more…

You might be wondering about the evolutionary perspective on why women are so sexually responsive. I’ll share my views on that in a future post, and I assure you it’s quite a different take than that other myth that men are naturally promiscuous so as to sow their seed widely (higher order animals like humans do not ‘sow their seeds widely’ that’s what fish and frogs do.)

You might also be wondering why the cultural myth is that women are less sexually responsive than men. Well, that’s an interesting story! Next post I’ll give you a brief overview of the history of female sexuality so you can see why this myth has arisen and become so entrenched in our society.

I’ll also do a post explaining the energetic approach of Tantra and Taoist sexuality to male and female sexuality. It’s rather lovely and inspiring.

As you can see, there’s a lot more interesting information to come. Stay tuned!

Jacqueline Hellyer is a life and sex coach. She runs the highly acclaimed Luscious Woman workshops and in her private practice she works with individuals and couples to help them reach their sexual potential.

The next Luscious Woman workshop, level one, is in Sydney on Sunday the 28th of September. More information and bookings at www.jacquelinehellyer.com

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